Monday, 13 June 2011

Sunday 13th June 2011

My body sucks.

Woke up this morning at about 10am. I tried to be quiet, as I didn't want to wake Trudie. Once I'm awake I'm awake though, so it was a bit of a struggle. I can't actually remember clearly the process of this morning, just remember lying there trying not to breathe, but then having an allergic reaction to something so having to get some water to take anti histamines with. My legs didn't seem to be collapsing so much when I stood up to do so, which was good, but as soon as I stood up I had shooting pains all the way up my legs. I've spent the whole day with deep muscle pain throughout them. I try massaging my legs, but can't press hard enough to make it go away, and just end up bruising myself instead. Or at least it feels like I'm bruising them. It hurts!

Bev and Trudie played with ferrets for a bit, so I took a sneaky nap. I actually zonked out pretty convincingly. I hardly ever sleep deeply. Shame it didn't last long.

Mark and I took Trudie home. Mark drove obviously; very little chance of me driving at the moment. The seat was leaning a little forward; Mark had put it that way so that Trudie could lie down more easily in the back. But the angle of the chair was hurting my back, which in turn was making me grumpy and tired. And Mark was trying to hold a conversation with me. I hope my replies to him were making sense, it was very hard to focus.

Got back, ate chicken, fell asleep. I was woken up by a text message at 9pm. I hate being woken up artificially as it renders the rest I was having null. Rest only seems to count for me when I allow it to begin and end of it's own accord. I feel like a groggy, grumpy, pain infected lump of uselessness. I'm so sick of this illness. I want it to end. I want to move on with my life. Be useful to someone. I know it's probably a stupid worry at this point, but I'm really worried that my stupid illness, and this crash in particular will affect things with G. I don't want to scare him away :(

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