Thursday, 21 June 2012

Don't forget me!

A young lass posted yesterday to one of the M.E. groups on Facebook. She was upset because one of her friends has, for want of a better term, moved on. She is a young lass, her friend is continuing to go to the pub, to parties, out with other friends, and she feels resentful towards her. She can't understand why her friend is doing these things without her.

Sometimes having M.E. feels a bit like being a stone. A stone lies on the beach year after year, with the sea washing in and out on a daily basis, everything the same and repetitive. The rush of children running in and out of the water, fish swimming over our heads; a lot of activity that simply does not involve us. A stone, left unturned, undisturbed, ignored.

It is very easy to view things in that way and to become depressed by it. We cannot do the things that we used to. We cannot keep up with the activity our friends and family can. People are tactless, and will frequently flaunt in our faces the many things that they are doing and can do, without realising the pain that this causes us.

If we were in their position, would we really do anything different? We can't expect everyone to tread on eggshells around us all the time. We can't expect them to give up their lives because we've been forced to give up ours. We have to become thick skinned.

However, real friends will adapt for you. Any friends worth their salt will continue to invite you to events, unless you ask them not to, and not be offended when you can't go. They will share with you the thrills they experience when they are out and you could not attend. And they will make time to spend with you, in your space, to your ability, even if that means sitting in silence together.

It is sad, but everyone who developes M.E. has to go through the phase of learning who their friends really are. If you know someone with M.E. please don't leave them behind.

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