Thursday, 15 November 2012

Dating Disabled

Ok, I am sick and tired of the spam messages I keep getting; comments people try to leave on my blog with a link to their own website in the hope that it'll lead to an increase in visitors. Sorry folks, I never let such comments through. 

However, there is one I'd like to make a post for. Today someone left a comment saying that they would link to my blog from their website ... I'm not naive enough to believe that they will ... but their site is a dating website for the disabled. And you know what, that's something I think is useful and important to my readers.

I signed up to a dating website a couple of years ago, and the experience was absolutely horrific. If I did not write on my profile that I am disabled, when the people I talked to found out that I am, they accused me of leading them on. If I did write on my profile that I am disabled, I received messages from people either telling me I had no right to be on a dating website, or even creepier, from people who wanted to know all the details of my disability. It was no win situation.

I can see pros and cons to the concept of a disabled dating website. From personal experience I can tell you that two disabled people in a relationship together can be twice as difficult as one disabled, and one able bodied. On the other hand though, who understands disability better than anyone else? Disabled people! My disabled friends are the most supportive. They understand. They relate. So yes, I advocate disabled dating sites. 

I would give one word of warning though. When you tell people up front that you are disabled, you are telling them that you are vulnerable. There are people who prey on the vulnerable. There are those who 'like the idea' of caring for someone, not always with the best intentions. Always tell someone where you are going, and who with. Always get pictures of the people you are going to see before you see them, share these with someone. Always take your phone, and keep it turned on; answer it if someone phones. Have a safeword that you can slip into conversation with a friend if you need help. That safeword can save your life.

This is the website that left a comment on my blog:

And here are a few more:
Disabled Passions
Disability Match


  1. I’m glad to locate so much of informative data in your blog
    dating blog

  2. Hi there. I know you said you we're sick of people leaving comments with a url BUT we're a dating site and had to chime in on this one.

    Disabled dating is huge business now (not something we've added to Only Dates yet but think we will) and it's not surprising - everyone deserves love. I personally think they are a great idea and I think the more choice people have about what site they join is good news.

    I agree with your warning thou - it's true. If you tell them upfront it can be a hill to climb but lying is not an option. We are who we are after all and I hope that with more of these sites opening it just shows more and more people are willing to be a part of a persons life. We all have baggage - it's just different types.

    1. Thank you for reading my post Only Dates. That's a little different to spammers just randomly leaving links. I'm happy to share your link for you:

  3. If a person is disabled, he should look for disabled dating online. It is very feasible to find the disabled people online. Some online dating sites offer a separate category for disabled people. When you join this category, you can find hundreds of disabled people. It is best to date with people with similar physical conditions. Hence disabled people should look for dating partners who possess similar physical conditions. The online source is an ideal place or site to date with disabled people. It offers wide range of services for all types of people. Now online dating sites are offering best applications and services.