Carers

Excuse me. I know this is rather ungracious of me, and not at all professional. But hey, I have no profession, so ...

I have a "facebook friend". She is kind of annoying me. She has M.E. and FM. I have many friends, both real and "facebook" who have both these conditions. None of them have carers. This friend does. This friend takes frequent trips into town. She is studying a university course. Yet she has carers. Most of my friends who have M.E. and FM are house-bound, or bed-bound. Most of us have to struggle ourselves to try and make food, or rely on a kind friend / relative / partner to look after us. I myself have been bed-bound the last few weeks again, and am very lucky to have C caring for me.

Yet every morning this friend complains about her carers. I want to shake her and explain to her that having carers is a privilege that very few benefit from. I want to tell her that if she treats them like servants they will behave like servants. Most people who enter the caring industry do so because they want to help the disabled and incapacitated, not because they want to do the housework. I want to point out to her that if she constantly berates them with a bad attitude the caring company will deliberately send her the most difficult carers to deal with. She expects them to be robots, not people.

I know though that I cannot say these things to her. When people pass judgement on me and my illness it hurts, particularly if they are other people with M.E.. And that is why I am writing it here.

If you are fortunate enough to have carers, please be grateful for them. Treat them as people, with kindness and patience, and if you're lucky enough to have a regular carer whom you get on with, tell them how much they mean to you. They are paid a pittance to help you after all.