Shopping with Olana

One of the things about having an illness like M.E., anything that restricts your ability to go out, is that it makes shopping difficult.

For obvious every day things I personally use Tesco Online. Most supermarkets offer similar services these days. The charge for delivery with Tesco varies throughout the week. I usually go for a Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon as it seems to be the cheapest. I believe, but could be wrong, that Asda offer free delivery; the Asda delivery drivers are not allowed to enter your house though, which is a problem for me as I cannot carry the heavy boxes through to the kitchen. If you are up to going shopping in Iceland, you can save yourself all the packing etc by having your shopping delivered to your home if you spend over a certain amount.

For non food items I tend to frequent Ebay, Amazon, Preloved, Gumtree and Argos. I tend to look through all five, quickly comparing products and prices, before deciding upon a purchase, if I decide to purchase at all. Ebay & Amazon have aps you can add to your phone, so you can shop from your bed if you need to, or simply follow things you've already bid on / bought. I had always thought Amazon only sold books, but apparently they sell nearly everything these days.

What has actually lead me to writing this blog post though is clothes shopping. I find shopping in general quite stressful. Super market shopping is the worst, so I'm very thankful that I can do that online now. Shopping for clothes can be equally difficult though. Firstly because walking from shop to shop to shop for hours is painful and exhausting, but also because the high street shops all seem to carry similar clothing, which is just getting further and further away from my tastes every year. Over the last year I've done a lot of window shopping online, and am now starting to buy a few pieces of clothes that I feel are far more me than anything I've ever owned before.

For the last ten years, I've had no income (I still have no income mind you). I have relied upon my (ex) husband for money, and therefore, for clothes. His approach to clothing is that if it costs more than £5 it isn't worth it. Occasionally I'd be allowed to buy a dress at around the £20 mark for a Christmas party or similar occasion. The problem with sticking within that price bracket is that you are not only forced to shop in high street stores, but in their sale rails. So, you're getting the stuff that no one else wants to wear. For the last ten years I've been wearing mostly synthetic clothing, that is either uncomfortable, or doesn't fit properly, and I very rarely actually liked it much.

I've been posting pictures of a few pieces of clothing that I would like, to Facebook, and I've discovered that I'm not the only person who doesn't enjoy shopping in the high street stores. Many of my friends love the styles I'm showing them, but have no idea where to find them. Most of them work full time so don't have the ability to look around online like I have been. So, if you like the styles I post today, have a look at all the links I put at the end of the post.

I described myself the other day as a 'guppy'; a little bit goth, a little bit punk, but mostly hippy. I didn't take into account boho or steam punk though. Basically, I'm anything but main stream.

It all started with Witchfest last year. You can, but don't have to dress up for Witchfest. I decided I wanted to. I'd never 'dressed up' before. A close friend of mine helped me, because I just didn't know where to start. We started with this underbust corset (without the skirt part):

Added the white version of this skirt:

And this short black peasant blouse under the corset:




I enjoyed dressing up, and decided to redo my miserable excuse for a wardrobe. There were a few things I needed to get used to though:
- in the real world good clothing costs at least six times what I am used to paying for it.
- (theoretically) if you pay the price for clothing it will last longer, so it's worth saving for items you really want.
- when buying clothes from Asia you need to add one or two sizes to their sizing; always check sizing charts for measurements (returning clothes to Asia is a nightmare).
- when you're buying natural fibres it often means that they are going to be hand wash only, and cannot be tumble dried. (I've risked many clothes on a 30 degree wash and they've come out fine though). Most sites do not tell you in advance of such limitations.
- dealing with small online vendors means dealing with real people running their own businesses. You get a much nicer service than if you're going to high street stores. I've had to swap and change many items, even with a bigger website like Corsets UK, and not had problems for doing so.

I'm just going to post pictures of some of the items I have bought over the last few months. I will link the pictures directly to the pages to buy them from. Please explore these websites more thoroughly, and follow the links at the end of my post, as you will find so many treasures, you simply will not believe it.

These trousers are amazingly comfortable. The elastic went in mine, but it was very easy to fix. They state that they are hand wash, but have been through the machine here several times without any problems.

These haven't actually arrived yet, so I can't give a review of them, but I'm excited. I've always wanted faux leather leggins, but the ex always frowned at clothes like these.

Turquoise is my all time favourite colour, so this bag caught my eye as soon as I saw it, and I love it. It's a very large bag, designed to sit perfectly across from shoulder to hip. My only niggle is that I can't find anything in it because it has no partitions; so I might add some!

I have this top in brown. It's very comfortable, and again it goes through the washing machine despite pretending it doesn't want to. My only grumble is that I get the cord in my food, in the washing up bowl, and it gets washed every time I wash my hands. That is a bit obvious from the design though.

Blue Banana sold this on Amazon. They have high street stores, and a website too though. They're one of the few alternative stores who have become quite popular and well known (and pricey). I have quite a few of their products in my wardobe!

This top is really cute. I keep meaning to buy the other one that's similar. Very comfortable. Machine washable. Yay all round!

The picture doesn't really do it justice, but this top is fantastic. It has a lace up neck and lace up sleeves. The length of the neck makes it really warm despite the fabric being quite thin.

Surprisingly thick fabric, I am finding I tend to wear this top on colder days. I keep having to pull the back down so that the web around the neck stays in place.

This is a case of making sure you look at the sizing chart before purchasing. The first time I bought the skirt it was far too tight, but now I have the right size I love it.

This bolero cost me £5! It looks and feels like it cost £50. Everything on this site is £5, so I highly recommend it. Sometimes you need to be patient, waiting for items to be in in your size, as everything sells very quickly.

My top isn't quite the same as this one; none of them are the same. I actually bought mine from his store in the Oasis Markets in Birmingham. I highly recommend visiting if you can. If you have a blue badge you can park right outside. It's a building of about five floors, with several mini stores on each floor. Hippy Buddy is one of them; I bought several items from him, and am more than happy with all of them. The other stores in the Oasis are all hippy, boho, Victoriana, etc, with a few tattoo parlours, and a beauty salon thrown in too.

Whilst updating my look I had to get some new glasses, so why not change my glasses style too? I went for these, which just so happen to match my hair which is now black with pink streaks down one side. Select Specs do good quality frames at the best prices I've personally found online.

I hope you have enjoyed shopping with me today. Please do have more of a mooch around the stores I've showed you.

Stores I've shared items from:

Corsets UK

Dangerous FX on Amazon

Blue Banana on Amazon

Nomad's Clothing

Bizbusy on Ebay

Altshop-net on Ebay

Lotus on Amazon

Park Walk

Kate's Clothing

Argoth

Chosen Gifts on Ebay

Everything5Pounds

Hippy Buddy

Select Specs



Further stores to explore:

Ashen Soul on Facebook

Sassis US on Ebay

Dark*Dream on Ebay

Osiris Fashoin on Ebay

Black Rose

Gypsy Moon

Sharpe Designs

Pure Burlesque on ebay

Tuniquewear on Ebay

JennyzImpressionz on Etsy

Kinky Angel

Siesta

Don't leave the house!

I am not agoraphobic. However, I am nervous of going out in public. Actually, that's not strictly true. I'm fine going to the doctors, dentist, vets, hospital, any allocated appointment really. It is crowds, in particular shopping centres, and more specifically, queues, of which I am afraid.

A few years ago I made an innocent visit to the post office. As I was standing in line the woman in front of me was looking at something in my direction. She sneezed. I received the full spray face on. It was absolutely disgusting. I remember waiting for her to apologise, but of course that did not happen. Within 48 hours I was ill. A week later I was in agony.  My throat and nose were killing me and I was coughing so hard it felt like my ribs would crack. I was rather impressed when my doctor said I had a chest infection, throat infection, AND nasal infection. Of course I do not know these all came from Sneeze-Lady, but they definitely came from that day out. This is why I am more than a little nervous at heading out in public.

People are not sanitary. People don't wash their hands after using public toilets, then they touch things in shops; things you might touch yourself later, picking up whatever remnants they had left on their hands. People do not consider the health of the person next to them in a queue, or the person they happen to be walking past as they cough their germs into the air. How often have you heard someone say something akin to 'I don't know where I got this cold from, I don't know anyone else who's had it!'?

C and I went shopping last weekend (the 11th). We figured that after weeks of stress we should get out and do something enjoyable for a change. I used the wheelchair from the moment we arrived so that I did not deplete my spoons before having to trek a mile or so back to get it (learnt wisdom). It was a good day. I bought clothes. I ate a potato. It was a nice day, and I was exhausted afterwards.

I've been feeling nauseous for weeks, so when I started feeling more nauseous a few days later I didn't think much of it. When I had an upset stomach later on in the week, again I didn't think much of that either, as my body is so unpredictable that that isn't particularly unusual. On Saturday evening I didn't feel well. C somehow managed to persuade me to eat some ice cream that I really did not want to eat. Having done so I kind of knew I was going to be ill.

An hour or so later, C was snoring. At 11:30pm my stomach said to me rather clearly 'You should go to the bathroom now!'. So I did. I'll spare you the details; needless to say I was extremely ill. Honestly, I have never before been so ill in my life. I collapsed on the bathroom floor, absolutely exhausted, and called C. No response. I called several times, I banged on the bathroom door with various things, but he was out for the count. Ironically, it was my quiet crying a bit later on that actually woke him up.

I was scared to move. Every minute movement made me feel like I would be sick again. By 3am, I was dehydrated to the point that my mouth kept sticking to itself. C phoned his mum, uncertain of what we should do. She advised we go to the hospital. It is what we had both been thinking, though the thought of every bump in the road filled me with dread.

I was amazed at how busy the ER was at 3:30am in the morning, and scared that I would be waiting hours to be seen. Thankfully we had taken a bucket with us, and there was a toilet in the waiting room. We were called in to what they call the triage nurse; someone who assesses whether you need to see a doctor (who then assesses whether you need to be admitted). The nurse had an attitude with me from the moment she looked at me. My mouth was sticking together, the room was spinning, I was doing my best to not be sick, and had my legs crossed because I needed the toilet again, so I asked C to talk to her for me. In a rather confrontational manner she almost shouted at me 'Can't you talk to me yourself?', to which I said I could but I didn't wish to be sick on her. To me it didn't seem that she wanted to take me seriously. Having explained that I had started throwing up at 11:30pm, she asked me what my GP thought of the sickness. How could I possibly see my GP on a Saturday night? She allowed me to go to the bathroom during the middle of this consult, during which time C explained to her that I have severe M.E., and I managed to get lost trying to find them again. When I returned, she called for a wheelchair and admitted me to the next stage. C believes this was mostly because he'd told her I have M.E..

We were shown into what I presume was an assessment ward, where everyone was in little rooms by themselves. The guy opposite me was propped up, lights on, covered in blankets, with lots of pillows. I was left in a dark room, with no blankets, no pillows, no instructions on how to prop the bed thing up, with the air conditioning on full blast. They could see I was in my flimsy pyjamas. They knew I was having V&D. C went to ask a nurse where the toilet was. We were told that I was not allowed to leave that cubicle, and must use a commode. I was therefore brought a commode, but no toilet paper. I was still being sick.

Eventually a doctor showed up. He asked me a few questions. I tried to explain to him that I have M.E., and that I've been struggling badly for a few weeks with a reaction to mould; that my immune system has already crashed. I may as well have been speaking gibberish. He looked at me, said 'At your age your body will do what it is supposed to do, and fight the bug for you.', and he left.

At my age? Have I pointed out in my blog previously that people keep thinking I'm a lot younger than I am? Is it not fairly widely accepted that the bodies of those with M.E. tend to behave like those several decades older than they are? Was this man a prize idiot? C and I sat and stared at each other, wondering what we were supposed to do next. Eventually we asked a nurse, who said we should just go home as the doctor had not admitted me. We both assumed this meant that someone would come and pick me up with a wheelchair again, but this did not seem to be happening. So once again C bothered the nurse, who seemed genuinely surprised that someone who had been brought in in a wheelchair might actually need to go out in one too. A chair arrived. A chair with no foot pads!?!

We left the chair at the hospital entrance because the slope up to the car park was covered in snow and ice. I got a few steps up the slope when it became apparent that I had taken on a task a lot bigger than I could cope with. C had marched on ahead of me. I didn't have the energy to call him. The road by which the path ran was for ambulances only, so C couldn't have come down and picked me up anyway. I'd have crawled up the slope if it hadn't been for the snow and ice. I came very close to collapsing again, and once I reached the car I threw up violently.

I wish I had collapsed. An ambulance had driven past me. I have no doubt that they could see how much I was struggling. Had I actually collapsed I suspect they would have helped, and then I would have been admitted. I admit that I do want to make a full sized V sign at that doctor, but I also know that I should have been on a drip. I was extremely dehydrated, my body was in no shape to accept my attempts to put anything in it, and I was too weak for my body to fight.

Five days later and I am supporting my weight for the first time. I've been able to walk to the bathroom and back, but it has felt like I was controlling my body by remote control, and each trip left me exhausted. I ache all over as if I've run a marathon whilst lifting dumbbells. I haven't sat upright all week. I am now. I have no idea what my body thinks it is up to, as it isn't behaving properly yet, but I have been eating some toast and fish the last couple of days.

All because I went out and enjoyed a days shopping for once in my life.


[Edit]
There has been one very vital fact left out of this post, because I needed to talk to a close friend of mine before announcing it to her on my blog by accident. I am pregnant. This is why we went to the hospital with the dehydration, V & D so soon, and why we were so disgusted at the treatment received.