Pain is a pain in the everything.

Originally, I was prescribed Tramadol four times a day. I found that Tramadol keeps me awake though, so I reduced this dose to three times a day. This of course meant that I needed a different pain killer at night. I was prescribed Gabapentin by my specialist, last year.

It worked well to start with, but over the year it's diminished. Rather than increase the dose I requested, last week, to change to a more commonly used medication; Amitryptiline. He had no problem with this, but along with everything else he forgot to do, he forgot to write the prescription for this. (I hasten to add that this was NOT Dr Patel at the George Eliot). I left a note for my GP on the way home from the specialist appointment, telling him that I now had no pain medication for night-time, asking him if he could write the prescription for Amitryptiline for me. It's a commonly used drug, one which he's prescribed for me before under different circumstances.

So, I expected to spend the weekend without pain medication. Come Monday though, there was no prescription for me, and of course I can't get an appointment with, or speak with, my GP about it for weeks.

At the same time, of course, my Tramadol is running low. So I put in a request for a repeat of Tramadol on Monday, too. For some reason it seems particularly difficult to get a repeat of Tramadol. I don't know why it's so controversial. I've been assured that it isn't the cost of the drug. So, because I know it takes ages for the Tramadol prescription to come through, I've reduced the dose of Tramadol, to twice a day.

So, for a week now, I've been on less than half the pain medication my body has become accustomed to. It's very easy to say that I'm not addicted to these pain medications. I'm not ... not specifically addicted to Tramadol and Gabapentin, anyway. However, my body now requires pain relief of some sort. Last time something similar happened, I sought relief from Codeine Plus, or something like that, which helped a little. I only have Ibuprofen available at the moment though, which doesn't seem to do much at all.

So, I AM IN PAIN. I have a stabbing pain straight through my head (withdrawal no doubt). My entire body feels horrible. Obviously, the pain that the medications help with has come back with a vengeance. But, my body feels like it's starving, too, an experience I have never desired to repeat. Standing up feels uncomfortable, as if I'm unable to breath. Yet my breathing is unaffected.

I can't remain in one position for more than a few minutes, but I cannot explain why. Nothing feels right. This is the hypermobility. Before taking pain medication I was used to this feeling, and hadn't even realised I was in such significant discomfort. Every joint in my body feels ... loose. I can feel each tiny movement, some feel like they're grating, some feel like they're swimming. Subluxations have become a lot more common throughout this period of pain and discomfort.

And of course, with pain and discomfort comes the lack of sleep.

I'm so tired of fighting to live a normal life. Not just striving, but fighting the NHS and DWP. I have to argue my case over and over and over again, to get the simplest of things. This medication change is just one example, among many. I do at least have a GP who is working with me now, despite it feeling as if he's doing it so slowly. I've been ill since 2002: This is the first time someone is taking me seriously.

Proud but Pissed!

I'm kind of proud of what I've done today, but at the same time I'm all pissed off. I really need to google strategies for coping with anger, but keep forgetting.

I woke up this morning to cramping in my tummy. I wondered what had happened to my period. It started a few days ago, but vanished again after about three hours. The cramps were HURTING me already, so I took a bunch of pain killers and buried my head under a pillow.

I was woken up at about 12:45 by a phone call from my lovely doctor. He had received my urine test results, and indeed I have e coli causing me cystitis, which would explain why I'm in PAIN. He had surmised that it was probably e coli when I saw him on Tuesday, but now that we have proof he can prescribe me the most suited anti biotic. The reason I still have cystitis after the first course of anti biotics a couple of weeks ago is because e coli is becoming resistant to the standard anti biotic being prescribed for it. The anti biotic I actually need (and have a prescription for) is Nitrofurantoin. Never heard of it before. He has also written me a prescription for Mefanamic Acid, since I was complaining of the agony I am in with period pain.

I was happy. In pain, but happy. I dragged myself out of bed, got dressed, did my best to not look like I have manky greasy hair, and drove myself over to the doctors to get the prescription. Picked it up, went to the pharmacist, where I hit the problem. 'It's the pharmacists lunch hour, you can come back in an hour and collect it!'. Actually, I can't. I was struggling to stand up, as she could see, in a lot of pain, already groggy and shouldn't be driving; I'd be worse later on. I asked about prescription delivery; oh sure, yes they do that ... they could deliver it next Wednesday. So I asked if she knew which pharmacy would be open now ... she offered me the one in the centre of town as an idea; one I'd have to walk to .. when I was evidently in no state to be walking. I left the chemist feeling frustrated, sat in the car and cried, and came home. I am basically going to have to settle for being in pain til tomorrow :( By then of course I'll not need the Mefanamic Acid. Doh. Oh well, at least I'll have it for next erm ... menstruation.

Well, the good that came from this is that whilst at the chemist I picked up the number to phone in order to change the name on my medical exemption certificate. So I came home and phoned them to ask how to go about changing my name. So I have written the letter, and included the right documents etc. And since I was in the mood for doing so, I prepared the letter to change my name with the DWP, and to send my driving license back to have them amend their error too. I phoned my solicitor to find out why he wanted to speak to me, but no one was available. I made an appointment with my dentist for next week. Made an appointment with Doctor Niklaus so that I'll have a sick note in time. And phoned HSBC.

My intention in phoning HSBC was to find out how to go about changing my name with them. First of all, there is no specific department that deals with this. Second of all I was put through to India, where the lady I spoke to at first didn't seem to understand the concept of changing my name. She put me on hold to go and ask someone for help, and I got cut off while she was gone. Sooo, I spent ages going through their frustrating phone system to speak to someone again, and whilst SHE was gone seeking help, the first person I'd been speaking to tried to phone back. She tried my mobile first, and then the land line, so since I was on hold on my mobile I answered ... and explained to her that I was on the phone with someone already. I was basically trying to find an address to send all the documents to in order to change my name, because with my health being the way it is at the moment I'm unconvinced of my ability to get to any of the HSBC branches that are around here ... basically, they're all a hike from their nearest car park! Eventually I was put through to a Customer Solutions Department in the UK. The lady I spoke to was lovely; she completely understood the limitations of M.E., and really did try to help. She contacted my nearest HSBC to request a home visit so that I'd be able to do it here, and phoned me later to see if a solution had been reached. The local branch contacted me to say that they can't do that though. What I didn't realise is that they actually have to witness you signing the new signature. So as it stands I will be unable to change my name at the bank until I can physically go in and do it. They should offer a Skype service! The lady did put my mind at ease by telling me that when benefits payments go through they only use your account number, rather than your name, so it shouldn't make a difference.

And now I'm completely wiped out. No chance I could have gone and collected the prescription if I had left it with them.